• E.J. Wanjiru

Black Friday (11.23.18)

Updated: Jun 6, 2019



Wish I could say that I'd spent the day shopping deals and poppin' tags

Nah, I was home alone with panicked thoughts, making moves and

packin' bags


Carefully cleaning out traces of my ex’s existence after

he made it clear that his respect for me or my mother

was NOT a priority on Thanksgiving night


Dinner table drama brought on by insecurities and trauma

I can’t fix that shit

though I tried

to stay and fight the war in peacetime


But I couldn’t ignore the crimson flags resembling the

one-legged air dancer at the local car dealership


So I had to pass on that relationship

which hurt no doubt

But I wasn’t interested

not anymore


Not in half-priced love or half-placed truths

Nor the amateur attempts at hiding bones

from a calculating and determined sleuth


Spirit bruised


I’d be lying if a week later I didn’t admit (to myself) that my heart ached

and tears fell

and my appetite escaped me

and thoughts screamed out


Because despite the necessary disruption

I knew I’d respectfully miss the definite parts of his fractured whole


The bass in his voice, the scent in his skin, his world views, the fact that his shit (literally) didn’t stink, his cynical wit, the salt and pepper in his hair, his grit, the chemistry we shared and the energy that flowed in and out of our arduous love affair

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